A solution ~ Wrapped in 46 minutes, with commercials

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A repost from my other passion; Gay Men  Rule 

Here we go again.  It’s widely reported that the parties in the Anna Nicole Smith paternity battle are expected in court in the Bahamas today, this is the day the judge will probably force everyone to pony up DNA samples to determine Dannielynn’s paternity.

I just don’t get it.  I mean actually, I do.  It’s more about the potential  multimillion dollar inheritance that the US Supreme Court could order; than it is about the best interests of this orphan who could very well require long term post natal drug rehab and the loss of cognitive abilities due to her parents drug habits. Into this morass you throw in the Husband (Rev. (Rx) Dr. Feelgood), the Boyfriend (kato kaelin in a jar), the Grandmother (parenting skills without equal).

C’mon already, let’s put aside the greed and the pride and do the job Judge Judy and Maury Povitch do everyday.  Here’s a treatment.

J.J. -I care only about the best interests of this child and in securing her a morally sound upbringing and a positive support system to handle any challenges she may face.  You’re all just interested in the potential windfall and that is not an issue before this court. DON’T PISS ON MY LEG AND TELL ME IT’S RAINING.

M.P. -Hey you, homeless beach-bum pall bearer- who only wanted a chance to Jerk-off on those huge plastic titties… YOU ARE THE FATHER.

See, it’s not that hard at all.

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